I'm on my own again

I'm on my own, Again

I will wait for you

11:11:11

I hope you do dance on my grave Miss Bubbles, for I've had a very good time over my years and when go I insist on a party - lets' call it Dons Party Two - It's Time. I just hope I don't come back to this life, 'to be' on my own again. I must say my intentions were to make life Home worthy for you Miss Bubbles. I worked hard to buy the very best things for my girls, always. When I was your age I had my first business and although poor, Nanna looked after me as best as she could. By 25 years of age four business's, flowing and for the past 30 years grown with my extended family, friends & colleagues. I enjoyed being in and creating business and many families benefited each week from our culture of prosperity. A Mansion, a life long dream to build, found in a Boy's town art union brochure . I got my owner builders licence and you'z were my inspiration

So you girls could have a nice place to live......

Now I ponder if I was good enough then, or was I just easy prey for Material gain. Your teachings are about Gnostic's are about 'Self' its metaphor. 2022 Believe in yourself Miss Bubbles and consider Words more thoroughly when sending messages in your work, as personal ones may not be so graciously accepted. When I hugged you Miss Bubbles, know ! you were my Princess and I told you that and when I kissed your head, lifted you in the air, hugged you; it was coming from a proud Father. And when I said your drawings were cool I meant it. I could not pretend to you.

That was me in the flesh and blood......

If your work was cool, I told you so and I reckon I have a good eye for artwork as I appreciate architecture, the arts and the spoken word - and you are my youngest child. I promise never to lie to you ever. If I'm a little weird then you'll have to accept that because I don't have anything to prove to you. You knew what I was like always. The sad part about this 'Drama ' is that your SMS messages only show to me how easily you form opinions that many create for deception. Look into the past, remember the actual hugs and the man who was there every night. I don't want this life without you and none of this anger is helping you or me in any way to build a future. I certainly won't be destroying myself over these poorly fabricated opinions of who's good and bad as I consider the the truth to be all important. Unfortunately for the others, it seems you will have find out a whole lot more about their lies and deception the hard way

And as long this nonsense goes on it is going to go on......

It is not Humanly possible for you or I to give others their happiness Miss Bubbles, to save them from life; yet I wanted everything for you. When one person was happy, it seemed to be contagious. We painted your room to make it beautiful and you three have lived very very well, yet through this tough period I have been sacrificed and I understand your feeble emotions emphatically as I faced the same outrage when I was growing up: my Father also was portrayed as unsuitable. After I came back from Nepal I had awoken somewhat to the gifts we had all achieved together. After seeing how poor Children live and grow, with tanks in the streets during the Maoist uprising, landing in a civil War - most of them would have appreciated very sincerely all the gifts we shared. I have always wished for the best in your life. Those poor Children would have begged for what you have, but still they smile generously and share easily what little food they have. I do not ask for you Miss Bubbles to bring my happiness to this life.

You have not created any of these problems......

You have travelled the World and you are now big enough and tough enough to realise that I am appalled by these cruel useless and emotional messages. Have some Courage and speak your feelings to my face. You didn't cause this mess so why have you been so aggressive. Pain cannot be resolves with pity or angry messages that only bring opposite forces to play. Why would you want be angry with a Father that loves you. Or is the love you give only when we have money and possessions? Which one were you on that Bus? Surely you would understand that I have never asked anything of you ever, I only ever gave and that is what is in your Fathers heart.

I know you have the same empathy I do, naturally......

I reiterate; I understand one thing Bubbles 'you didn't cause any of this situation' and I do not blame you'z one iota for this mess and I will always love you equally. You can only defame yourself acting this way, like the person who actually took the time and sat down cutting out phrases from a newspaper to describe some sort of curse sent to me. Now grow up and face the facts that you have no reason to be angry with me or to act in empathy with anyone but yourself. I am still your Father no matter what and I prey you grow up a little wiser sublimating towards the truth of knowing within and bypassing all this premeditated idle chatter about a Man who only did good things over many years for many people and that is a truth my conviction brings from my heart.

Meantime, I miss you all, will always love you and I will wait for you......